Monday, 11 November 2013

TRAFFICKING


Trafficking amongst all other social problems has put Africa in a sorry state when it comes to human development. This practice of modern slavery does not only apply to the able bodied adults but in fact, targets a higher percentage of vulnerable children as well. Surprisingly, trafficking does not only expose its victims to hard labour and prostitution but it also brings about their untimely deaths especially where there are “heartless trafficking agents” involved. As much as the United Nations believe that 6 out of every 10 people are being trafficked annually, it is also unfortunate to know that some of the victims get trafficked without even knowing it. This is so because a trusted family member is the disguised trafficker who must have promised the family of the trafficked person a better life in an unfamiliar environment.


However, some people voluntarily allow themselves to be trafficked as a result of their current life situation. In Nigeria for instance, girls are being convinced of getting a better life for themselves and their families in places like Italy, Malaysia, China but to mention few in which some African neighboring countries are not spared only to find out that they had been tricked into a life of misery and agony through sex slavery while most traffickers see this as a full time job, they continue to hunt for and entice these vulnerable children who are usually easier to convince and extort money from their poor families in the name of travel expenses.


 Just last month, a friend of mine who serves the Nigerian Navy aired out his frustrations about this particular menace. He spoke about how some Nigerian citizens numbering up to 1,000 or more took their chances to “risk their lives on a journey with the possibilities of no return”. He said that the Dakar Immigration office had sent for the Nigerian Naval officers to come pick Nigerians who were trying to cross the Atlantic Ocean into either Malaga or Sicily in which these men also held a workshop for the refugees, giving them a reason why they should not risk their lives for “Greener Pastures”. At some other times, they go from Dakar (Senegal) to Tripoli (Libya) where they will now cross over to Spain or Italy by boat which of course is very risky. After the workshop/counseling session, only 200 people or less agreed to go back to Nigeria especially those who were financially stranded. He talked about how there were more of pretty teenage girls and young adults of both sex. There have been recorded traumatic experiences of survivors who escaped a wicked act by traffickers who off-loaded people into the sea when the journey became tough. i.e there might be marine govt. officials on patrol or the traffickers are fake at being a travel agent. Worse case scenarios holds that some people especially children are being transported and treated like cargo in cargo ships as they are being lined up like inanimate objects in a container while on transit for several hours. This is why some of them suffocate to death. And families continue to loose their precious ones to harsh conditions worse than death all in a bid to travel abroad. 

Monday, 4 February 2013

WHEN PEOPLE CHEAT!

I once asked a question on my facebook page that, why do men cheat? And then I got an awesome response from one of my male friends. He said “men cheat either single or married because they meet with another girl who is willing to cheat as well”. When I saw his comment, I took a time out to think about it and I realized it was true. Now, if you go out there to ask a lady regardless of her age, profession, marital status or place of origin what she thinks of the men in our society today, she will probably start by taking a deep breath, smile or even hiss before she can give a response which is most likely to be negative probably because she has at one time or the other had a bad experience in the hands of men or she refused to let go of a friends encounter she once heard of. Funny enough, females always have an already made answer and they don’t have to think about the question before they answer you. Then, their answers could come in different forms but they all mean the same thing which could go thus “men are liars”, “men cheat”, “men are full of deceit”, “they are heart breakers”, they don’t have conscience” and so on. Some will even define them as BAD NEWS.

Yes! Some of them might fit into some or all of the above descriptions but we should bear in mind that there are still some good guys out there even though they might be few and sometimes unattractive, they do exist. Human beings are constantly, always looking for someone to blame because we are usually too scared to face our fears and take responsibilities for our failures. If you say he cheats, who has he been cheating with? A woman of course; except he is gay. The society is in a general mess because it is seen as “normal” for a man to cheat even in marriage and so it becomes a habit because
  • ·        There are no consequences by law for acts such as promiscuity, adultery, fornication, prostitution e.t.c.
  • ·         Also, men are known to be 10 times more sexually active than their female counterparts so it makes them vulnerable to any attempt of sexual temptation where the current female mode of dressing has an exaggerating influence on the man’s thinking as soon as he sees her so he believes that she is using her body language for an interpretation for a sexual relationship with him.
  • ·         If they (men) begin to believe that all girls are the same because they were able to get one, two many of them cheaply, they then see it as a hunting game and loose count of girls they have slept with.
  • ·         If they have a nagging wife with regrets in their marriage, they are bound to look for happiness elsewhere.
  • ·         If a couple live far apart from each other, the man might want to cheat except he has got an extraordinary self control.
  • ·         Poverty can make him cheat with older, desperate and sex starved women.
  • ·         He might just be a natural philanderer.

If this dude gets carried away with the other woman in their affair that is when you blame him for cheating, maybe he eventually got caught in the act or he out-rightly came confessing to you. Again, if relationships fail to work, it is either because it was not meant to be or one of the two parties involved failed to make it work. Truth be told, in the world of today, most men cheat and so do some women even in marriage so why put all the blame on men? I guess it is because they are traditionally known for making the first move. Nowadays, women are now taking the bold steps of asking a man out on a date and eventually into a relationship. If you feel so secured in your relationship and you think your man is not looking elsewhere, pray he does not come in contact with that lady that will take him on an adventure he had been secretly craving for. It’s only a matter of time before he told you that the relationship might be taking a new turn.

Bimpe, 28, a banker is still single and can never forget the day her fiancé told her that their relationship had to come to an end after so much struggle in it for a period of eight years.           “Men are so heartless” she began. “He looked me in the eyes and told me that we could still be friends. How was I supposed to live with that? I thought I was going to die last year if not for my good friends who stood by me. Before the incident, I had been hearing rumors that he was seeing a new girl at his office although not in his department and so I decided to ignore the news because I so much believed that Jerry and I had come a long way and whatever he was having with the other girl was never going to last but it later dawned on me that I had been taking chances by not investigating the matter because I felt he would not be able throw away the eight years of our lives that we had shared together in love and pain, down the drain until that night at the dinner table where he had taken me out on a treat after work”.
She brought out a handkerchief to wipe her tears as they rolled down her cheeks. “Do you know that I was expecting him to discuss marriage with me since we had been courting for more than two years already and our parents already knew about the wedding plans only for me to receive the most shocking news of my life… he had fallen out  of love with me!”


The reality of life is that somebody has to get hurt for another to be happy. For instance, if you ask the other girl at the office of what she thinks of men, she might start by say something like “men can be funny at times but they are still needed around. One thing I know is that my fiancé is the best” while Miss Bimpe is most certainly not going to have any positive response. Only men of value are usually faced with this kind of situation because of the constant competition going on among women for their sake. You will agree with me that in our present generation, the ratio of females to the males is quite high and so, every woman wants the best guy for herself which makes it a common struggle for a man among sisters, cousins, co-workers and even best of friends. As much as this is true, it also happens to true women of virtue and substance. I am not talking about the career woman who has got everything money can buy at her disposal but that woman like Esther in the Bible who was immediately admired by the king amidst other pretty girls in the city. If a woman has what most men crave for, it is only natural for men to also compete for her attention. This trend can only continue to exist as long as relationships occur among people in the society. So, if you think he or she is a cheat, take time to study your own self before you draw conclusions!
 

Monday, 9 July 2012

ALL WE SAY IS THAT “MEN CHEAT"

I once asked a question on my facebook page that, why do men cheat? And then I got an awesome response from one of my male friends. He said “men cheat either single or married because they meet with another girl who is willing to cheat as well”. When I saw his comment, I took a time out to think about it and I realized it was true. Now, if you go out there to ask a lady regardless of her age, profession, marital status or place of origin what she thinks of the men in our society today, she will probably start by taking a deep breath, smile or even hiss before she can give a response which is most likely to be negative probably because she has at one time or the other had a bad experience in the hands of men or she refused to let go of a friends encounter she once heard of. Funny enough, females always have an already made answer and they don’t have to think about the question before they answer you. Then, their answers could come in different forms but they all mean the same thing which could go thus “men are liars”, “men cheat”, “men are full of deceit”, “they are heart breakers”, they don’t have conscience” and so on. Some will even define them as BAD NEWS.

Yes! Some of them might fit into some or all of the above descriptions but we should bear in mind that there are still some good guys out there even though they might be few and sometimes unattractive, they do exist. Human beings are constantly, always looking for someone to blame because we are usually too scared to face our fears and take responsibilities for our failures. If you say he cheats, who has he been cheating with? A woman of course; except he is gay. The society is in a general mess because it is seen as “normal” for a man to cheat even in marriage and so it becomes a habit because
  • ·        There are no consequences by law for acts such as promiscuity, adultery, fornication, prostitution e.t.c.
  • ·         Also, men are known to be 10 times more sexually active than their female counterparts so it makes them vulnerable to any attempt of sexual temptation where the current female mode of dressing has an exaggerating influence on the man’s thinking as soon as he sees her so he believes that she is using her body language for an interpretation for a sexual relationship with him.
  • ·         If they (men) begin to believe that all girls are the same because they were able to get one, two many of them cheaply, they then see it as a hunting game and loose count of girls they have slept with.
  • ·         If they have a nagging wife with regrets in their marriage, they are bound to look for happiness elsewhere.
  • ·         If a couple live far apart from each other, the man might want to cheat except he has got an extraordinary self control.
  • ·         Poverty can make him cheat with older, desperate and sex starved women.
  • ·         He might just be a natural philanderer.

If this dude gets carried away with the other woman in their affair that is when you blame him for cheating, maybe he eventually got caught in the act or he out-rightly came confessing to you. Again, if relationships fail to work, it is either because it was not meant to be or one of the two parties involved failed to make it work. Truth be told, in the world of today, most men cheat and so do some women even in marriage so why put all the blame on men? I guess it is because they are traditionally known for making the first move. Nowadays, women are now taking the bold steps of asking a man out on a date and eventually into a relationship. If you feel so secured in your relationship and you think your man is not looking elsewhere, pray he does not come in contact with that lady that will take him on an adventure he had been secretly craving for. It’s only a matter of time before he told you that the relationship might be taking a new turn.

Bimpe, 28, a banker is still single and can never forget the day her fiancé told her that their relationship had to come to an end after so much struggle in it for a period of eight years.           “Men are so heartless” she began. “He looked me in the eyes and told me that we could still be friends. How was I supposed to live with that? I thought I was going to die last year if not for my good friends who stood by me. Before the incident, I had been hearing rumors that he was seeing a new girl at his office although not in his department and so I decided to ignore the news because I so much believed that Jerry and I had come a long way and whatever he was having with the other girl was never going to last but it later dawned on me that I had been taking chances by not investigating the matter because I felt he would not be able throw away the eight years of our lives that we had shared together in love and pain, down the drain until that night at the dinner table where he had taken me out on a treat after work”.
She brought out a handkerchief to wipe her tears as they rolled down her cheeks. “Do you know that I was expecting him to discuss marriage with me since we had been courting for more than two years already and our parents already knew about the wedding plans only for me to receive the most shocking news of my life… he had fallen out  of love with me!”


The reality of life is that somebody has to get hurt for another to be happy. For instance, if you ask the other girl at the office of what she thinks of men, she might start by say something like “men can be funny at times but they are still needed around. One thing I know is that my fiancé is the best” while Miss Bimpe is most certainly not going to have any positive response. Only men of value are usually faced with this kind of situation because of the constant competition going on among women for their sake. You will agree with me that in our present generation, the ratio of females to the males is quite high and so, every woman wants the best guy for herself which makes it a common struggle for a man among sisters, cousins, co-workers and even best of friends. As much as this is true, it also happens to true women of virtue and substance. I am not talking about the career woman who has got everything money can buy at her disposal but that woman like Esther in the Bible who was immediately admired by the king amidst other pretty girls in the city. If a woman has what most men crave for, it is only natural for men to also compete for her attention. This trend can only continue to exist as long as relationships occur among people in the society. So, if you think he or she is a cheat, take time to study your own self before you draw conclusions!

Sunday, 1 July 2012

YOUR PERSONAL WELL BEING


Tola, 21, a student had just broken up with her boy-friend and weeks later, she could not eat well neither could she sleep well so she began to loose weight. As time passed, everyone began to complain which made her adjust once again to normal eating habits. She slept but occasionally and they all thought she was fine. She was getting better but even after eating, sleeping and jesting with friends, something still seemed wrong until a family friend advised that it’s high time she visited a psychologist for counseling. She did went there and the psychologist did a very good job, helped her gain a lost self-confidence, assuring her that she was beautiful and that she would definitely get someone better. She was also convinced that she probably did not deserve to be in that state of mind because it can only limit her from being innovative and productive. However, three things had to be done, she has to let it go and find a way to forgive herself even as she makes a conscious effort to forget about him. 

In less than a week, she had channeled her mind into lovelier things and her inner beauty began to radiate from within thereby bringing new friends into her life and in no time, she added more weight with a healthy outlook. Therefore, the soul is just too important to be ignored. Even the bible tells us that we should guard our hearts jealously.
The best thing that can happen to you is to be yourself at all times. You need to be healthy in order to carry out different activities. To achieve your desired goals, objectives, aspirations, dreams and purpose in life, you will need to be in a good state of mind, a strong and fit body without neglecting your spirit man. Every human being is made up of three above mentioned.

SOUL: According to the English dictionary, it stands for the immortal part of a person, the emotional or intellectual energy, a person regarded with affection or pity and so on. But it is necessary to know that our MINDS are important just as the soul is because the mind which happens to be the faculty of our consciousness and thoughts is needed for the proper functionality of the soul. This part of us ought to be really cared for since it is the one responsible for our psychological well being. The soul can be unhealthy when there are elements of envy, unforgiveness, anxiety, depression, fear, malice etc. in us. For instance, all of these and many more take away our inner peace that is supposed to be our source of joy from God our creator but if we still hold on to some things such as an un-healthy relationship, a painful break-up, not letting go of some things and so on, they begin to tear us apart and only time can determine the harm they will cause in our personality. The soul is so important that if neglected, it can have a very negative effect on the body and the spirit.
It is important for us to know that whatever we see and hear frequently are responsible for building our psychic and perception of things thereby influencing our everyday actions and behaviors.

BODY: The body is the physical flesh that we all carry which is visible to all. It needs to be cared for so that we can live longer than our years of expectancy. Below are some of the ways to care for our bodies.

Drink Water Regularly: Scientists have undergone a lot of researches based on the human body composition and came up with findings that our bodies contain over 70% of. For instance, the human brain in its composition has 80% of water combined with other organic matters. Therefore, we need to drink more water to keep our bodies fit and maintained. Water is a major substance for growth. According to diet experts, they concluded that man could survive without food but with water under normal circumstance but cannot survive 5 days without water under normal condition.
1.      It helps in the process of digestion
2.      It serves as a neutralizing agent to toxic substances in the body. 
 NOTE: It is better to drink water 30 minutes before or after food because it tends to dilute the secreted gastric juice used in the process of metabolism of foods thereby slowing down digestion.
Exercise Regularly: Different exercises are being recommended for different reasons. Exercises could be done for building muscles, shedding weight, flexibility and so on. It all depends on the individual’s focus. Exercises have been said to be an act that helps to reduce stress as certain hormonal fluids are being released in the brain that gives the person a sense of satisfaction and confidence in him/her. It is better to see a body fitness expert for the appropriate exercise required for whatever reason you want to do it. However, it is always advisable to exercise for at least 20 to 30 minutes a day in not less than 4 days a week.

Foods: They are essential for the proper growth of your body. Foods come in different forms but it is better to stay closer to LIVING FOODS such as yam, potatoes etc. why did I pick yam? If you place a tuber of yam and a pack of noodles in a room for days, the yam is bound t grow some flower-stem like plant while the noodles stay intact as it came from the factory. Also, any food that has got preservatives such as canned foods and drinks are exceptionally destructive to the body. The chemicals that are being used to preserve them are fast elements for the growth of cancer in the body. It is important to check for expiry dates, if you must SELDOM consume some of them. It is good to note that for every meal we take daily, fish, egg, vegetables and palm-oil must be included
JUNKS: They are not supposed to be a major proportion of what we eat at all times because most times, they contain high percentage of cholesterol that accumulates as lipids in our bodies. That’s why some become obese as a result of their refusal to undergo a regular exercise while others just become hypertensive quite early in life when the fatty component begins to build up a blockage in their arteries and veins responsible for the flow of blood into the heart. It is very advisable for you to avoid all forms of animal fats so that you can live longer.
Fruits and Vegetables: They could also be referred to as oxidizing agents as they give life to all the about to die / dead tissues in the body. Fruits in its diversity especially citrus that purifies our body system of toxic substances are very refreshing. Some of these fruits such as bananas serve as stimulants. Vegetables are also tissue builders as the roughages are good for aiding digestion process. Some vegetables such as onions, carrots etc. are good for the eyes, tomatoes and cucumbers are excellent for the skin and so on. Fruits and vegetables helps people look younger than their age and it is expected to be an area of concern for everybody especially ladies who lose a lot of blood during menstrual periods.
Other ways to care for your body is to practice personal hygiene in the areas of taking your bath and brushing your teeth at least 2 times daily, keeping clean hair and finger/toe nails wearing clean clothes, take care of your face by using a good face cleanser OR the use of hot water and towel on your face. The use of perfume and roll-on also tend to boost our self-esteem as long as you are well dressed too. Whatever your skin color, make sure you don’t apply any bleaching agent on it and avoid exposing your body to harsh conditions such as the sun.
Good Sleep: Adequate sleep is very necessary. When you sleep, it is time for the brain to rest and therefore all elements of worry and thoughts should be kept aside before sleeping so that it can be sound enough for the body to rest.

SPIRIT: This part of us is about the strongest because it is a general and universal belief that man is a spirit being. We are all spirits who use the flesh to cover a supernatural being. It is the invisible part of a person which is regarded as the part that survives after death of the mortal body often manifested as a ghost.
Now, the spirit also has its own food and that food is usually determined by the religion we have decided to stick with. But for the purpose of this book, I will be using it’s always worth the trouble that you feed your spirit man with prayers and the holy book of that doctrine, sect or religion. Looking at a typical Christian, for him to grow spiritually, he is expected to read the word of God as frequent as possible, pray as often as possible and fast once a while in order to achieve an effective relationship with God the creator of all things. All of these are supposed to be maintained in order for the spirit man to grow. Don’t forget that your spiritual strength is what you will always need for spiritual warfare when it comes to dreams. Most people are being denied of their destinies because they lack what it takes spiritually to defend themselves. 

Conclusively, all of the above mentioned part of every man – the body, soul and spirit all need to be cared for without ignoring any one of them for a proper effective functionalism and existence.

Thursday, 28 June 2012

THE ILLUSION CALLED A PERFECT MAN


This is not facebook where guys and girls do window shopping for a life partner using different marketing strategies such as posing nude in pictures, flirting during a chat or giving impressive information about themselves. However, it’s called branding and it’s not so bad depending on the motives behind it. It’s all about having fun while socializing on the internet. It’s a world that allows for all forms of deceit and so you are left to decide for yourself which of these prospects you want to keep contacting. Although, this topic is so much of a critical subject but I decided to use it to open this blog because the new guys will always look perfect until their personal demons begin to manifest in reality.


Here is a note written by one of my very close friends some months back who had also noticed the same problem. According to him, he wonders why all the good girls always end up with the bad guys and vice-versa.

"A perfect man… why can’t these girls just wake up and face reality? The reality that you can’t get a perfect guy but only someone that is about 60% perfect and ready to settle down with you and only u...tall, dark, handsome, rich with beards are only illusions for girls in high school and I’m shocked that grown up girls are not as matured as they think they really are...damn... truth is, if your guy seems perfect, there is something hidden that you don’t know about, something crazy like 

§  Being a bi-sexual or a complete gay
§  Being addicted to pornographic stuff
§  Being a cheat
§  Being a liar
§  Being a cultist
§  Being a drug and alcohol abuser
§  Being a chronic womanizer
§  Could just be a weak guy
§  A potential wife beater or batterer
§  A serial killer/rapist
§  An addict to gambling
§  A heartless fraudster
§  A lazy man
§  An aggressive molester…

The list is endless so ladies, know one thing... when a guy makes some mistakes you know him better than the ones that never do...LOVE isn’t blind...people are!"

When I saw the note I could not help but laugh while at the same time, I assimilated all the truths and knowledge I could gather. I have always wanted to know why good guys end up with bad girls and vice versa and I realized that they wanted that person that could complement them, that person who has what they do not have and most people, unfortunately are drawn to the physical beauty, outlook and strength. For me, the most beautiful things are invisible and I operate in the “Law of Predestination” which states that invisible things are being treated as though they were already in existence.

Here is a bitter truth, there is nothing like Mr. RIGHT, it is your work to build him into that dream man that you have always wanted when you are sure that you can tolerate all of his weaknesses. Let me quickly add that choosing a life partner is about the hardest decision for anyone to make so if you are lucky enough to have that neutral frog looking guy who is ready to do anything to make you happy and you think that the rich handsome prince charming who just came into your life is the one for you, you better think twice and see if he can take all of the shit that the other guy has been taking all these while. They say you never know what you have till it’s gone and seriously, you knew what you had just that you never appreciated it. Don’t do something that will leave you regretting all your life. If you think you have frustrated the good guy in your life and you suspect he is gradually walking out of your life, please find a way to bring him back before it becomes too late. Remember, another lady is waiting out there to have him.  Good luck!