WHEN PEOPLE CHEAT!

I once asked a question on my facebook page that, why do men cheat? And then I got an awesome response from one of my male friends. He said “men cheat either single or married because they meet with another girl who is willing to cheat as well”. When I saw his comment, I took a time out to think about it and I realized it was true. Now, if you go out there to ask a lady regardless of her age, profession, marital status or place of origin what she thinks of the men in our society today, she will probably start by taking a deep breath, smile or even hiss before she can give a response which is most likely to be negative probably because she has at one time or the other had a bad experience in the hands of men or she refused to let go of a friends encounter she once heard of. Funny enough, females always have an already made answer and they don’t have to think about the question before they answer you. Then, their answers could come in different forms but they all mean the same thing which could go thus “men are liars”, “men cheat”, “men are full of deceit”, “they are heart breakers”, they don’t have conscience” and so on. Some will even define them as BAD NEWS.

Yes! Some of them might fit into some or all of the above descriptions but we should bear in mind that there are still some good guys out there even though they might be few and sometimes unattractive, they do exist. Human beings are constantly, always looking for someone to blame because we are usually too scared to face our fears and take responsibilities for our failures. If you say he cheats, who has he been cheating with? A woman of course; except he is gay. The society is in a general mess because it is seen as “normal” for a man to cheat even in marriage and so it becomes a habit because

• ·        There are no consequences by law for acts such as promiscuity, adultery, fornication, prostitution e.t.c.
• ·         Also, men are known to be 10 times more sexually active than their female counterparts so it makes them vulnerable to any attempt of sexual temptation where the current female mode of dressing has an exaggerating influence on the man’s thinking as soon as he sees her so he believes that she is using her body language for an interpretation for a sexual relationship with him.
• ·         If they (men) begin to believe that all girls are the same because they were able to get one, two many of them cheaply, they then see it as a hunting game and loose count of girls they have slept with.
• ·         If they have a nagging wife with regrets in their marriage, they are bound to look for happiness elsewhere.
• ·         If a couple live far apart from each other, the man might want to cheat except he has got an extraordinary self control.
• ·         Poverty can make him cheat with older, desperate and sex starved women.
• ·         He might just be a natural philanderer.

If this dude gets carried away with the other woman in their affair that is when you blame him for cheating, maybe he eventually got caught in the act or he out-rightly came confessing to you. Again, if relationships fail to work, it is either because it was not meant to be or one of the two parties involved failed to make it work. Truth be told, in the world of today, most men cheat and so do some women even in marriage so why put all the blame on men? I guess it is because they are traditionally known for making the first move. Nowadays, women are now taking the bold steps of asking a man out on a date and eventually into a relationship. If you feel so secured in your relationship and you think your man is not looking elsewhere, pray he does not come in contact with that lady that will take him on an adventure he had been secretly craving for. It’s only a matter of time before he told you that the relationship might be taking a new turn.

Bimpe, 28, a banker is still single and can never forget the day her fiancé told her that their relationship had to come to an end after so much struggle in it for a period of eight years.           “Men are so heartless” she began. “He looked me in the eyes and told me that we could still be friends. How was I supposed to live with that? I thought I was going to die last year if not for my good friends who stood by me. Before the incident, I had been hearing rumors that he was seeing a new girl at his office although not in his department and so I decided to ignore the news because I so much believed that Jerry and I had come a long way and whatever he was having with the other girl was never going to last but it later dawned on me that I had been taking chances by not investigating the matter because I felt he would not be able throw away the eight years of our lives that we had shared together in love and pain, down the drain until that night at the dinner table where he had taken me out on a treat after work”.

She brought out a handkerchief to wipe her tears as they rolled down her cheeks. “Do you know that I was expecting him to discuss marriage with me since we had been courting for more than two years already and our parents already knew about the wedding plans only for me to receive the most shocking news of my life… he had fallen out  of love with me!”

The reality of life is that somebody has to get hurt for another to be happy. For instance, if you ask the other girl at the office of what she thinks of men, she might start by say something like “men can be funny at times but they are still needed around. One thing I know is that my fiancé is the best” while Miss Bimpe is most certainly not going to have any positive response. Only men of value are usually faced with this kind of situation because of the constant competition going on among women for their sake. You will agree with me that in our present generation, the ratio of females to the males is quite high and so, every woman wants the best guy for herself which makes it a common struggle for a man among sisters, cousins, co-workers and even best of friends. As much as this is true, it also happens to true women of virtue and substance. I am not talking about the career woman who has got everything money can buy at her disposal but that woman like Esther in the Bible who was immediately admired by the king amidst other pretty girls in the city. If a woman has what most men crave for, it is only natural for men to also compete for her attention. This trend can only continue to exist as long as relationships occur among people in the society. So, if you think he or she is a cheat, take time to study your own self before you draw conclusions!